Manowar

6.2.05

House Of Blues

Cleveland, Ohio 

Review and Photography by Rob Kern 

Let me get this out of the way right now, I’m biased towards Manowar.  I flat out love these S.O.B’s; I have ever since I bought Hail To England in 1984.  They cemented my dedication when I first saw them in 1987 in front of a crowd of twelve people.  That’s right, 12 people; we thought for sure they would cancel the show.  Much to our surprise they came out and played a full set, all the while acting as if the place was sold out.  I was hooked, Manowar were the true Metal Kings and there was no convincing me otherwise.  Hell, the reasons most people hate Manowar are the exact reasons I am a Manowar fan. 

“They sing about themselves.”

True, but they’re Manowar. Could you see R.E.M. singing about themselves?  They’re probably scared of their own shadows. 

“They wear fur booties.”

Well, they did, those days are long gone, get with the program. 

“They are cheesy”

Different strokes, I guess.  Manowar are the kings of power metal for crissakes, you can’t expect them to look and act like stinking U2.  I love the cheese factor, the same way I loved Hulk Hogan telling us to say our prayers and take our vitamins so we could grow up to be little Hulkamaniacs.  I embraced it, I cheered it on, I never said I believed all of it.  Great metal requires the listener to suspend a certain amount of belief in reality. 

“They are Spinal Tap incarnate.”

Can’t argue that point, as I found out on their opening night in Cleveland. 

I wish I could tell you the band was incredible from the first note to their last, but I can’t.  I sort of got officially booted for more than half the show… 

Yours truly scored a photo pass from the band’s record label to cover the show for the fearless readers of our fine publication.  The only problem is that someone behind the scenes forgot to inform Manowar.  Sixty seconds into the opener, “Manowar” the band noticed me and had me evicted from my cushy spot in the photo pit.  Thankfully I had my credentials with me and eventually received an apology and was allowed to return after taking my camera off the premises and back to my hotel. 

I can tell you that the 40 percent of the show I did see was spot on.  This was by far the most crowded Manowar show I’ve ever attended and the crowd was highly enthusiastic.  Classic tunes such as “Black Wind, Fire And Steel”, “Hail And Kill” and “Power” had the crowd flashing the Sign Of The Hammer continuously.  Manowar shows in the United States are few and far between; I’ve had the good fortune of catching the Kings Of Metal on a fairly regular basis since the late 80’s.  Every two years or so, they come to town, I go to the shows a little grayer, fatter and older; Manowar comes out looking pretty much the same as when I first saw them.  I’m pretty sure they are in some kind of secret government program where the aging process has been nearly halted. 

Bottom line is, if you hate Manowar for one of the above stated reasons, put your preconceived notions aside and get off your ass and see them live.  Manowar goes all out to make sure everyone in attendance walks away seeing a powerful night of loud, intense metal.  Once you see them live, it’s hard to walk away a naysayer.  If you already are a Manowar fan, I’m preaching to the choir.  You will attend few concerts where the sense of brotherhood is so strong among complete strangers.  If you are a member of the media, your path is daunting and fraught with peril.  I wish you luck, my friends. 

Oh, by the way, I still think Manowar are the Kings Of Metal.

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