From Out Of Nowhere

                                                                        v                      

Congratulations to Rick Springfield for proving that he can still get arrested. The Jessie’s Girl singer, Californication star and plastic surgery addict was arrested for drunk driving. When asked by police to show his driver’s license and registration Springfield was heard to say “I’ve done everything for you! You’ve done nothing for me!”

American Idol host and public heterosexual Ryan Secrest is pitching his own karaoke show. If NBC buys it rumor has it he’ll be replaced on Idol by Grand Funk Railroad legend Mark Farner, who will in turn be replaced by former KISS guitarist, Bruce Kulick.

Speaking of Idol, Steven Tyler’s gig as guest host may be opening other doors for the Aerosmith frontman. Rumor has it Barbara Walters wants him to walk this way and be a host on The View.  Not to be outdone, the Aerosmith rhythm section of Tom Hamilton and Joey Kramer are said to be pitching their own daily gabfest.  When asked for comment, Steven Tyler replied, “Who?”

Failed Biggest Loser contestant and Fatboy, I mean Loverboy singer Mike Reno has taken time out from consuming 20 piece buckets at KFC to write a theme song for the Vancouver Canucks Stanley Cup playoff run. If there’s one thing we know it’s that nothing attracts an audience like the NHL!

Congratulations to former Jets and Browns coach Eric Mangini on being named the new drummer of Dream Theater. You’ve got some big shoes to fill behind that kit Mangenius!

Def Leppard’s new live release Mirrorball will be a WalMart only release. To promote the record, WalMart will use one-armed greeters on June 7.

Get well soon! Richie Sambora has had to take time off from the Bon Jovi tour to go to rehab. It seems the former Mr. Locklear has been spending too much time going down in a blaze of vomit.  We hear Richie has been so out of it that his performance has suffered. He recently mangled Living on a Prayer when he vomited into the talk box.  A friend in attendance told us it was actually an improvement. Keep the faith Richie!

Secret Stuff:  We’re hearing that one of this summer’s most anticipated tours is in trouble and they haven’t even played their first shows yet.  What has poisoned these two motley crews? We’ve been told it’s wig envy.

Speaking of choking on vomit, Jason Bonham, son of Led Zep drummer John Bonham has teamed up with Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger to record a version of the Zeppelin classic Black Dog exclusively for the NBA playoffs. Kudos to Jason for finding another way to ride on his dead father’s coat tails and for finding a more visible sports league than Mike Reno.

Red Rocker Sammy Hagar’s autobiography has sold more copies than his post Van Halen solo work.  Sammy says he’s hearing that Hollywood wants to do a film on his life. We’re hearing Andy Dick has already been approached to star.  Let’s face it; if anyone knows how to act convincingly while being anally probed by an alien, it’s Andy Dick!

Pakistanis who lived next to recently slain terrorist Osama bin Laden tell us the bearded one was known around the neighborhood as being the “tall guy blasting Aldo Nova records.”

After not recording for 27 years why did The Cars reunite to record their new record Move Like This? Frontman Ric Ocasek says it’s because the band was the recipient of a government bailout of the auto industry.

Planning on going to see Journey this summer? You’re in for a treat! Neal Schon tells us singer Arnel Pineda was such a hit the rest of the band will be replaced with cheaper, younger Filipinos. Schon spoke to our FOON reporter post-rehearsal (which we’re told resembled a sweat shop atmosphere) and announced that the now 80 % Filipino Journey is ready for their departure.

Gene Simmons checked in with us from the studio and reports that, “The new KISS album will be like "Destroyer meets Sonic Boom meets Revenge."  This marks the 35^th year of KISS describing their latest album as “Destroyer meets ….”

Unconfirmed Rumor of the Week:  Inside sources strictly on the QT have told this reporter that Power Metal legends Manowar are considering a move away from their brand of steel-infused secular music.  “The band has recently found religion and are renouncing their years of worshipping at the feet of Norse gods.  They are currently prepping to re-record their entire catalog of music to reflect their new Christian outlook.  Now operating under the name Manolord, the band is replacing the words “kill”, “die” and “metal” in all their songs with the words “Praise”, “Love” and “Jesus”.  No word yet if the band are trading in their loincloths and furry boots for religious vestments.